After being married for a few years, the newness and excitement of being married can begin to fade. You still love your husband, but you are now used to having him around all the time and seeing him every day. You get sucked into your weekly routines and eventually you begin to take him for granted without even realizing it.
I didn’t realize it was starting to happen in our marriage until my husband went out of town for almost a week. He flew out to Arkansas to help a friend move back to our area in Utah.
I have a new and deeper respect for women whose husbands travel for their jobs or leave their homes to serve our country. Their husbands are gone for months, but it was hard for me to have my husband gone for 5 days!
We have been married for almost three years and we have only been apart twice from Friday afternoon to Sunday afternoon. This trip, however, was longer and he was also several states away!
I of course cried at the airport when I dropped him off, and I cried when I got home. But even though I missed him so much, I do think being apart was good for our marriage.
As they say, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
Being apart from my husband helped me realize some things about our relationship.
I had begun to take my husband for granted.
In the repetitions of everyday life, I had begun to not appreciate him as often.
In the back of my mind I figured he would always be around. That he would always be there to help me with our children, to provide for us, and to make new memories with us.
As much as I hope and pray that we will both be alive and well for the rest of our lives together, we never know what the future holds.
I want to live each day appreciating my spouse and loving him like it was our last day together. Because you never know… it really could be.
With him gone, I noticed all the things he does for us. Look after our son. Help around the house. Make me feel special and loved.
It just made me love him more and want to tell him thank you.
This is another thing I realized:
We need to give each other our wholehearted attention when we’re communicating.
Here’s what I mean. While he was gone, we talked on the phone several times. One night we even talked for an hour and forty minutes!
During all those conversations, we were paying close attention to each other. We valued the time we got to spend on the phone together, just like we did when we were dating.
I remember thinking after that longest phone call how nice it was that we had hardly any distractions. Sure, a few things came up that had to be taken care of. But for the most part, we were both giving all of our attention to each other.
At home, we are normally distracted by our son, our phones, his video games, things that need to be done, and everything else that keeps us from focusing on each other.
I’m not saying we need to be obsessed with our husbands, but rather that we should devote at least a little time each day solely to our men. Really listen to what he has to say. Pay attention to his gestures. His emotions. His attitude. His passions.
When your husband speaks to you, look away from your phone and look him in the eye to let him know that you’re listening and that what he has to say is important.
(That goes for children, too. We don’t ever want our children to think our phones are more important to us than them.)
He’s been home for almost a week now and we both can tell that we pay closer attention to each other again.
Even though neither of us liked being apart, it was good for us to have time to ourselves, to miss each other, and to appreciate each other.
Have you been taking your husband for granted without realizing it, too? And how do you handle being apart from your spouse? Please comment below!
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