A lot of people think that when they get married, they can always look to their spouse to make them happy. As Christians, we know that true happiness and joy comes from the Lord. So what does it realistically look like to be joyful in the Lord in our marriage?

Joy in Your Spouse

First it’s important to realize that it’s not your husband whom you should be seeking ultimate joy from.

Yes, of course he can make you happy by getting you flowers, taking you on dates, being a loving parent to your children, surprising you with a gift just because, and all the other cute and fun things he can do for you.

God gave us our husbands, which is a beautiful thing. He wants us to enjoy marriage and bond closer to each other as we become closer to Him.

“Therefore a man shall leave his
father and mother and hold fast to his wife,
and they shall become one flesh.”
Genesis 2:24

But your husband also can’t promise to never let you down.

He is a sinner, as we all are. Sin causes distance in any relationship, but within a marriage, it can hurt deeper than any wound.

Whether a marriage is going through ups or downs, there will always be a greater longing for something more.

We want to be loved deeper. We want someone that will never let us down.

Joy in Jesus Christ

Instead of looking to our husbands, we can look to Jesus Christ for ultimate joy.

He loves us unconditionally and He will never let us down. He loves us greater than anyone else possibly could.

But that doesn’t mean that His love keeps up from going through trials as a Christian.

As 1 Peter 5:10 says, “And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”

He will never let us down in the sense that He will never stop showing His forgiveness, mercy, and love to us. He will always be there to give us strength and comfort.

As we walk with Him, He will continue to fill us with the Fruit of the Spirit, one of which is joy.

I love verse 7 from Psalm 28. “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him.”

And Psalm 126:5 says, “Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy.”

With the strength of Jesus Christ, we can still embrace joy while going through some of life’s toughest seasons, even if we don’t fully understand it.

Living Out Jesus’ Joy in Your Marriage

These are some ways that we have found helpful to have complete joy in our marriage.

Forgive each other. Marriage isn’t perfect, but if you both commit to loving each other no matter what, it will be a lot easier. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

It’s always freeing to confess sins within a marriage, but what the couple does with it is a hard decision. A person may not forgive their spouse and the situation could sadly end in separation of some sort, whether it’s physical or emotional division. Or there could be forgiveness, which ultimately strengthens the marriage.

My husband and I have chosen to forgive each other through difficult circumstances because we know that Christ forgives us, so we should also forgive each other. We also realize that every person is a sinner, so no matter who you’re with, you can’t get away from hurt.

(I’m not talking about sin such as abuse. If you’re in an abusive relationship, please seek help!)

After forgiveness, we can sense the love of Jesus. This brings great joy to our marriage and strengthens our relationship.

Pray together. I love praying alone, but praying with my husband is just as important. “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20

Praying together brings blessings from the Holy Spirit. And as mentioned earlier, joy is a Fruit of the Spirit.

Serve each other. Marriage is give and take, so selflessly give to your husband  “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10

I love seeing my husband happy. I’m not his slave, but if there’s something I can do that he can benefit from, I will gladly do it.

For example, if we’re already in bed and he says he’s thirsty, I’ll go get him a glass of water. And he does the same type of thing for me.

Be thankful. Each new day and every single breath is from the Lord, and He deserves our praise. “But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:57

I’ve noticed that when I’m thankful, I have a great attitude and am just an overall happier person.

Submit to His Will. Truly being joyful in the Lord includes walking in His will. “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

We can discover God’s will for us when we read His word, pray, and listen to the Holy Spirit.

These are some ways that we have found TRUE JOY in the Lord in our marriage. His joy has blessed us and hopefully has touched those around us. I hope and pray that you will be blessed with the same joy.

Commit to the Lord and He will give you the complete joy you are seeking for.

Let me end with Psalm 126:3.

“The Lord has done great things for us,
and we are filled with joy.”

How do you find joy in the Lord?

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If you liked this post, you might like this one about Praying for Your Husband.