I’ve discovered this one simple tip that has made our home more enjoyable and pleasant for both me and my husband.
It all started one Saturday when I had to leave for a few hours and my husband stayed home and said he would clean the apartment.
So I left, and while I was gone I kept thinking of how the apartment would look when I got back. The dishes would be done, the floors would be clean, the stuff left on the kitchen table would be put away…
When I got home, I was surprised to see that very little of what I expected him to do was done. I asked him what he had done and he replied, “I started a load in the dishwasher, I’ve put two loads of clothes in the washer, I cleaned the bathroom sinks…” etc.
While I was very happy with the things he had done, this is when I realized something important about us both – we have different priorities of what we like done first.
I’m happy when my priorities are clean, and he’s happy when his priorities are clean.
In order for both of us to be satisfied in our home, both of our top priorities need to be done first, and then go down the list from there. Because let’s face it, everyone is busy and not everything can be clean all of the time, especially with children around.
So I wanted to figure out exactly what our top cleaning priorities were. To do this, I wrote out two copies of the same list of chores. Here it is:
dishes done
floors mopped/vacuumed
laundry done
tables cleared off
sinks and counters cleaned
mirrors washed
bedroom cleaned
When he got home from work that night, we both sat down with a copy of the list and numbered it from 1 to 7 in our own order of most importance to least importance. Of course we would like for the whole list to be completed, but if we could only do a few things on the list, which would they be?
Then we compared lists.
His Order of Importance
1 dishes done
2 laundry done
3 bedroom cleaned
4 sinks and counters cleaned
5 tables cleared off
6 floors mopped/vacuumed
7 mirrors washed
My Order of Importance
1 dishes done
2 tables cleared off
3 floors mopped/vacuumed
4 laundry done
5 sinks and counters cleaned
6 bedroom cleaned
7 mirrors washed
This helped both of us see what was important to the other person.
Here’s the tip: do what’s most important to both of you first.
This way, if you don’t have time to finish all the chores that day, at least you both are pleased with what was finished and are not going crazy over the messes that weren’t cleaned.
Since I figured this out, I make sure to get the top items done on his list as well as the ones on mine. By doing this, he feels respected and loved because I thought of him, even though it’s in such a simple way as this.
Also, now that we are parents I would add picking up toys!
I encourage you, my friend, to make a chore list like mine and find out which things are important to you and your husband. Do you both have a similar order of importance, or are they completely different?
Please comment below and tell me if there’s a chore you would add to your list, or if you have a different way you keep a home that you both love.
That is a great idea! I know my husband has different priorities than me, but generally we just grumble and fumble through it lol. I’m going to be making him do this with me this weekend!
It definitely helps to know what his priorities are. I hope doing this helps you both not have to struggle through it!
This is a great idea! My husband and I have different top priorities when it comes to keeping things tidy too and I’m totally going to do this with him! Dishes are definitely at the top for both of us as well. Thanks!
So glad you liked it! And keeping the dishes up is a good top priority to have. No one wants a smelly kitchen!
This Is such a wonderful idea, my hubby is such a neat guy and well I am learning. So finding common ground could actually be a bonding thing
You’re right, it totally is! It’s always great to learn new things about our husbands.